Sometimes I look at the thousands of dads out there who are blogging and I have to admit that I don’t know what our readers would do without us. We fathers who blog are an overwhelmingly wise and witty bunch who are (let’s face it) writing some of the world’s greatest prose on fatherhood. As grueling as it may be for us, we struggle to find just the right words for all the issues of fatherhood, baring our souls and our problems, telling our incredibly embarrassing stories, because we know that our readers – and especially all those other unfortunate fathers who don’t blog - would not be able to face another day if we were not there to guide and educate them. Sometimes we fathers who blog get together in an undisclosed location (so we won’t be mobbed by our fans) and when we are finished laughing and crying over the profound statements we’ve made about fatherhood and brotherhood and manhood (as well as many other types of ‘hoods’), we hug each other and whisper in each other’s ears, “We really are national treasures, aren’t we?”

You may ask, why we offer our advice and tell our problems to hundreds or thousands of strangers who never asked for it in the first place. Well what if we didn’t? What if Picasso didn’t paint … if Shakespeare didn’t write … if Phil Collins didn’t sing? The truth is we blog because we must – because our readers need us as much as they need beauty, as much as they need truth, as much as they need to hear a mediocre, electronically-enhanced singing voice backed up by a heavy-handed, amateurish drum beat. It really is an awesome responsibility we have (and to tell you the truth it really helps me relate to Pablo, Bill and Phil a whole lot better).

The problem is that sometimes our readers need us a little too much. Some of them even go so far as to send us emails and IMs begging us to address their problems. “Dear Dad Man Talking, Please address my problem,” they write. “I won’t know how to handle my child or my wife until I hear from you.” Personally I have a very hard time keeping up my correspondence with this clamoring throng of readers.

And frankly - after months of doing this - I’m getting a little tired of being the voice for my generation of fathers. I also personally know that all the other fathers out there who blog are getting just as tired of it. I mean how much can one group of men give to another group of men who won’t face or fix their problems in the honest and soul searching ways that we do. We write giving our tips on how to become the world’s sexiest dad and - even though we dads who blog will be unbelievably sexual and fully potent well into our 80s and 90s - those non-blogging fathers out there still fail to fulfill their wives. Over and over and over again we give our personal top 10 rules for being a great father and a real man’s man but still there are millions of children out there laughing at their fathers who don’t blog and wishing that we blogging fathers were their dads (I can’t say I blame them, back in the 60s and 70s my own father never blogged and I still resent him for it to this day). Day in and day out we fathers who blog tell the stories of our newborns, our teenagers, of the fights we have with our wives and the hidden and incredibly personal secrets that really should stay private. And even though we have no shame or dignity, is that good enough for our readers? No. Do they listen to us? No. Do they fix their problems? No. They go on expecting us to do it all for them. We’ll I’ll tell you something, we dad’s who blog can’t continue to take on these issues by ourselves – it’s just too much to ask. We are just men after all, no matter how extraordinarily sexy, powerful and wise we may be.

So that’s why starting today, I only want fathers and other readers who are seriously considering becoming bloggers themselves to read my blogs. That’s right, all the rest of you have to stop reading now. Go on, go away – yes, you with the tear in your eye, I mean you too.

Okay, I know, I’m being tough on you. But that’s the kind of dad I am. If you were able to continue reading my blog you’d know that. But you can’t any more, can you, because you’re just a sad little man who doesn’t blog and who will never be able to really face yourself until you do.

You see, we dads who blog care for you our readers. And we know what’s best for you. More than that, we know what’s best for the world. Each day we father’s who blog turn our backs on real people to give our valuable insights to a group of cyber-people who we will never meet, and we do it unselfishly because we know that people (real or not) will never be truly be safe and secure – wars won’t be stopped, poverty won’t be ended, the energy crisis won’t be solved - until the whole world becomes a virtual community who can only touch and feel each other through the perfect computers that will set us free.

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I wrote this sort history for my daughter some years ago,

Blue Sky


In the Light planet the sun always shines, because the Star magician is always glad.There are days the magician has fun drawing shapes with the clouds that have wonderful stories to their inhabitants.

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In a time far away, beyond the limits of fantasy, there was a galaxy with a warm sun burning rays of light, in which two planets revolving orbit. The first one was called "Light" and was a lush and hospitable planet. It was ruled by the great Wizard of Knowledge "Star" who lived with his fairy "Swan, who was in charge of communicating to the world's inhabitants ideas the great magician for better and more enjoyable life in this warm and happy world .. The law created by the great Wizard to govern the lives of good men, peaceful inhabitants of the planet was called "The magical language of love" and its reason for existence was to preserve peace on the planet for all eternity. This magical law was writing his apprentice and assistant, the person on the planet chosen by the great Wizard to interpret and thus the children of this planet would never forget how important it was for them, listen to the advice of the fairy kind "Swan" and make appropriate always.
The second planet was ice and there were always dark clouds that prevented the passage of light rays from the sun burning gift. There, behind the dark glass lake hid the invisible evil being who directed this grim planet. He never let himself be seen, but steadily populated the planet of monstrous images that frightened the people of this sad planet. They were ignorant men, whom the evil invisible had stolen his heart, so that void, to submit to their whims, but nothing felt about it. Being invisible and had enslaved the entire planet, now cold and dark.
On the planet "Light", so far, all its inhabitants, young and old alike have been happy, but unfortunately this could change, as the great Wizard, still maintaining its universal wisdom, it was getting very old, and consequently had reduced their magic powers.
The evil invisible ice on the planet, whose dark intentions were only held back by the magic of the great Wizard of Knowledge "Star" had discovered that due to the aging of the good Wizard, now had the power to steal the hearts of good men in the peaceful planet, "Light". Without hesitation he devised an evil plan. He ordered his subjects without heart to travel in large groups all over the planet warm "Light" to find that chosen by the magician to explain the law's language of love magic to all children on the planet "Light". His apprentice. We kidnap and when this is missing the planet, nobody would understand the magic law and all good and honest people in the world would be helpless and bright and could steal the heart and also dominate in this way at all. Once abducted, the apprentice of the great Wizard of knowledge would be sacrificed in the Mountain of black ice, releasing the apprentice, to the precipice of the infinite abyss of nothingness. And he did. Men ignorant armies invaded every corner of the planet, "Light" spreading fear wherever men lived well. They eventually found and captured the trainee obligations, the strength to go with them to the icy planet. There the invisible evil being who can dominate the entire galaxy made him increasingly wicked and cruel, ordered immediate slaughter. On the planet "Light" Grand Wizard "Star", which was aware of what happened, optimistic as always used his wisdom and magic in a universal effort devised a peaceful and effective plan against the power of evil being. He sent his faithful companion, the fairy "Swan" to rescue his apprentice, of the infinite fall into nothingness and made them return safely to the planet "Light" after they called to explain the new plan would remove the final wrong. He met with them and told them what they should do. He said:
"Beloved, until now the power of goodness and magic that allowed for peaceful coexistence, love towards our fellow man and respect for nature and among all inhabitants of our planet, gave us the heart of the universe, and through the Language law magical love you came to all men of good, so that it always pudierais understand and know that you ought to take decisions in your life to be happy. Now you, apprentice magic power of the universe, and loving the world of good, I will give you my powers so that you can continue to develop the universal law of language of love magic. You will make a trip together in time, toward the distant past, the world of children today. They will teach them our language so universal and the world's children today learn to avoid the pitfalls that have tended to over time the evil invisible to steal the heart and slowly make his men and women making them ignorant and then be used at will. From now on, apprentice, I give you all my power. Your name will be your weapon Ciberjones and divine light chamber where the fairy "Swan" and together we will live through it, creareis, the Art of "Language of love magic." You will be friends of all children in the world today and your Art, a universal knowledge to guide them. Thus, the future will change, as all children know the language of love and magic as well, peace, love and respect among all beings, shall reign forever. " And so ...
End

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Congratulations to all the guys at Daddy Outpost on the launch of their awesome new site! To celebrate, I threw together this list of the Decade's Top Ten Ads for Dads! Check em out, let everyone know what you think...and by all means feel free to ad to this list if you think I forgot something.

http://smidgestream.posterous.com/the-decades-top-ten-ads-for-dads

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