Posted by: mstevens
in Parenting on May 18, 2010
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How much uninterrupted time on average, do you think American parents spend talking with their children? When asked this question on a recent survey most people answered “between 1 and 3 hours per day.” Surprisingly, it was discover that on average, the amount of uninterrupted time that parents in the USA spend talking with their children is 7 minutes.
Think about it. On average our children spend 8 hours in school (7a.m. -3 p.m. ), 2 hours in after school activities (4-6), and 8 hours sleeping (10-6), thus leaving only 6 hours of day remaining. In most homes parents and kids are in the building at the same time between 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. During that time parents are engaged in a number of activities. I like to catch up on the news and occasionally watch Sports Center, even though it has been reporting on the same thing all day long! My kids, like most others, participate in things such as watching TV, talking on the phone, playing video games, and communicating with others on My Space. The other day I saw a report that indicated heroin was fast becoming the drug of choice for suburban teenagers. The story was really scary because the young person that was highlighted in the report could have been any of the kids on my block. Ironically, the next day while talking with my son he admitted to me that one of the new kids that he met at school smokes cigarettes and drinks occasionally. This helped me to put down the Black Berry and start talking with my kid.
Posted by: Papa Rocks 6
in Parenting on Mar 18, 2010
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There’s an all to common occurrence in my house that happens more times than my wife or I like.
The day starts out with me waking up at 6 am, going around and waking everyone up. Our daughter’s room is directly across from us so I head over their, turn on the light and tell them, it’s time to get up. I will go to the 3 oldest girls and give them a little shake, rub their back or tickle them to wake up and on some mornings I will give each one a kiss and tell them I love them as they are waking up. As I leave their room I remind them to make their beds, get dressed and be down at the dining room table by the time I get out of the shower.
I then head downstairs to the boy’s room and wake up my oldest son in a very similar way. I stand there and wait from him to get off his bed, or I run the risk of him going to back to sleep. After he climbs down from the top bunk I usually give him a hug and tell him to be upstairs at the table when I get done with my shower.
I then proceed back upstairs to my room, get my things and go into the bathroom and get ready for work.
Posted by: TonyT
in Parenting on Mar 17, 2010
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Once upon a time there was a father with daughters and these baby girls would joyously eat anything their father laid before them. Food, after all, was a bridge that passed joy between them, something the father saw as the strongest of their physical bonds, and these girls’ appetites were insatiable; they hungered for their father’s love which – even as tiny infants - they sensed he had wrapped tightly inside each morsel he fed them. On his mornings off, when their mother had left for work and this father was the man with the bath and the story book and the walk in the park, these girls, each in their own turn, would giggle and strain to get at the warm oatmeal and whipped bananas or tiny pieces of flaked egg that their father presented to them. A game would be made of the feeding, and as they grew and learned to feed themselves these girls continued to find that playful, simple joy in their meal, creating their own zooming airplane noises and hiding the food briefly before devouring it with a last supper fervor that set fire to the kitchen and warmed the whole house. These girls loved their father that much. And they loved the food he fed them even more because he had nestled his love inside it.
Posted by: Papa Rocks 6
in Parenting on Mar 04, 2010
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A couple of weeks ago the older four kids brought home their report cards for us to see. The three younger of the four did as we expected them to. Our oldest daughter who is 13 and in the 7th grade showed us her report card and to our disbelief received a D in Math. Granted she is a very intelligent young woman, it does not take much effort for her to maintain her grades at a B level or higher. Needless to say, we weren’t pleased and this being very unlike her, prompted a discussion.
I know my daughter and understand that middle school is rough for everyone; I have yet to meet someone who had a fun time during middle school. My oldest daughter is like many oldest children and wants to do well. While middle school hasn’t been that difficult for her, there have been times she has struggled and gets caught up in wanting to be popular and fit in with everyone. Who hasn’t thought or wanted that, I remember all to well thinking how cool the popular kids were and I wanted too much to be like them. We have had numerous conversations about popularity, fitting in and how that generally plays our later in life. My approach to this has been to find good trustworthy friends and enjoy this time in her life sharing it with them; those memories will last much longer than trying to fit into something that is for the most part superficial. The other big issue for my daughter is she wants to please us and she will do anything not to get in trouble. I often struggle with how I discipline her; her immediate response when she is called on something is to begin crying. This happens to be a button of mine and I try to find ways to meet her in the middle. I find it difficult to have a conversation with her when all she does is cry and I can’t talk with her. I am very interested in what she has to say,her thoughts and feelings, however to get to that place she has to cry through it first. So often against my natural instincts, I let her know that I will talk to her when she is done crying and we can move forward.
As I began the discussion in my mind I was quickly thinking about what I wanted to say to her. As much as I hate to use old cliché’s like “grades are important” and “you can’t get into college without good grades”, I fell into this and began asking her the questions.
Me – “Can you explain to us why you got a D in math?”
Daughter – “I don’t know”. (I hate this answer and I have explained it’s not an answer but an excuse to not answer the question)
Me – “That is not an answer and I need an explanation.
Daughter – “I don’t understand math and the teacher yells at us.”
Me – “Really the math teacher yells at you if you don’t understand things, are you serious”?
Daughter – “Well no, but sometimes she does. I don’t understand it.”
Me – “Have you gone and spoken to the teacher?”
Daughter – “No”
Me – “Ok, well I would like you to go to school and have a discussion with the teacher on why your grades are the way they are and what you can do to raise it up to at least a B, if not higher, you can do that right?”
Daughter – “Yes”
Me – “So tomorrow, you are going to go to school and talk to your teacher and find out why and how this can be fixed.”
Daughter – “Yes I will do that tomorrow.”
Me – “Okay and just so you know, until that grade is raised to a B you won’t be doing anything extra, like going to your friends houses, watching TV/movies or playing, you’re going to have to work hard to get your grade up before you have any privileges, do you understand this?”
Daughter – “What, why, that’s not fair”
Me – “Grades are important and you need good grades to get into college, and I know this isn’t the best you can do, and this is what is expected of you.
Daughter – “Fine, I will ask, but I shouldn’t have to lose out on my friends just because of one grade.”
Me – “ I understand you don’t think it’s fair, but this is what you need to do.”
Daughter – “Ok, fine”
Posted by: TonyT
in Parenting on Feb 26, 2010
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You’ve got to keep your kids hungry. You’ve got to push them into the cold water to find out if they can swim. Sometimes, you’ve just got to become King Kong and let them be Fay Wray. Sometimes.
I’ve got friends of mine that give their kids everything just because they can. Other folks I know tip toe around their children, not wanting to get in their way, actually a little afraid of the full blown humans they’ve created. There are those who I’ve encountered who want to protect their kids from every Tom, Dick and hairy situation. And a few (God help them) even want to be their kids’ friends.
Look, my love for my kids is unbreakable; it’s death-defying and even deeply religious - I actually see my kids as my ticket to a world without end (amen). But just because I’d die for them and someday will be more content to die because of them, I still never forget that this love for my children has to take the shape and outline of no other love I will ever give.
Posted by: Papa Rocks 6
in Parenting on Feb 26, 2010
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My wife and I have 4 children of our own, ages 13 – 8. 3 girls and 1 boy, my son is the second oldest and I have always been incredibly grateful to have had one son. He’s is my mini-me and as I have written before I spend countless hours wondering if he is thinking the same thing I was thinking at his age. We also have 2 other children, our niece who is 2 ½ and a Foster son who just turned 3. Actually our niece is now our daughter whom we adopted and we are currently in the process of adopting our Foster son as well. We equate the raising of these two to what parents of twins must go through. We have had our 2 ½ year old daughter since the day she was born and we have had our Foster boy for over a year now. His adoption should be finalized by the end of this summer, at least legally and officially, for us, it already feels as though he is ours and has been a part of our family since the beginning. As time slips away from us it’s hard to remember we had a life earlier that didn’t include both of them. When my wife was pregnant I had always prayed we would have twins and somehow I believe that prayer has been answered but in a different manner.
Our youngest daughter is actually my wife’s brother’s daughter. He was married they are now divorced, prior to their parting of way they had a son together and also had our daughter. However due to circumstances they have had DHS or Child Protective Services involved in their lives since their oldest son was around a year old. We even became Foster Parents to take care of him at one point when he was removed from them. All his life thus far has been an extremely sad story of abuse, neglect and for all purposes every reason why some people should not have brought children into this world.
Our Foster son in his short span of 3 years has lived with us longer then he has lived with anyone else in his life. He too had parents who should not have been together and had a child. He was born drug addicted and lucky to have his paternal Grandmother take care of him in the beginning and remove him from the situation he was in.
Posted by: AdminEdu
in Parenting on Feb 24, 2010
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Argentine stolen at birth, now 32, learns identity
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35542562/ns/world_news-americas?GT1=43001
"For the first time, I know who I was. Who I am," the young man said, still marveling at his new identity: Francisco Madariaga Quintela, a name he only learned last week.
Posted by: Papa Rocks 6
in Parenting on Feb 12, 2010
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Our 3-year-old boy spends most of his day playing Super Heroes, trucks and cars. He enjoys wrestling, jumping off furniture and playing rough, like most boys. He’s definitely all boy and looks forward to me coming home to play with him. My older son and I are into Super Heroes and so he has taken an interest in them as well. He has different pajamas, shirts and other articles of clothing with various super heroes on them. He has a Spiderman blanket that he carries around with him, but for the most part uses it as a cape and runs around the house pretending to fly.
Posted by: Christopher Diaz
in Parenting on Feb 09, 2010
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The plaintive cries begin usually sometime around 2 a.m. “I’ll go.” says my wife. Even though I’m so willing to take her up on this offer I know that she needs to arrive at work much earlier than I do. “No, I’ve got it.” I say as I stumble from our incredibly comfortable bed, through the darkness into our daughter’s room. I know that as a parent it’s our job to comfort this child; let her know that she’s not alone and that dad and mom will make it all better. I also know that I’m not alone in this nightly zombie parade into the room of a distressed youngster. Indeed, parents all over the world deal with this on a nightly basis. However, our problem is slightly different. This is no 2 month old bundle of joy who is crying out for a bottle or some cradling in the wee hours of the morning. This is a four and a half year old terrorist who has decided that after years of being the best sleeper on the planet, would now like to take that track record and throw it completely out the window (which incidentally is where I feel like joining it after a month of little to no sleep!).
Posted by: parkwaypete
in Parenting on Feb 08, 2010
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My intentions were good yesterday morning. The thought was that PJ and I would head over to the annual summer rummage sale at a church in a neighboring town and hunt for a couple of bargain gems. Y'know, a treat or two for PJ that were perhaps only gentily used. Sadly upon arrival we were informed there was "no sale today" by a heavily taped sign on the church basement door. What to do? Outing squashed? Well, since we both had the bargain bug and the forecast called for some morning showers it was only natural that we head to the most posh mall in NJ. Most of you probably know the location of which I speak. It's one of those places that forces you to realize how linty your shirt really is as you compare it to the very "put together" clientele upon arrival (as you discretely swat at the white specs that rest on your shirt that may or may not actually be there).
